Disclaimer: I used swear words. A lot of them. I hope you dont mind.
I am actually listening to Patience by Guns N Roses while writing this, it made me reminisce those LDR days....
I met my husband thru Facebook. I'm not ashamed to admit that. I met him through a group of 9gag enthusiast, posting shit and dank memes from all over the internet. We started talking thru facebook chat and we instantly got interested with each other. After long ass Facebook conversations, we decided to step up the chat game, and we switched to Skype. There, I first heard his voice when he called, and our first voice conversation lasted for hours. From that day, I knew that this person from the other side of the world, would become very special to me. Well, it took us two months of calling and chatting to actually calling it "official". Two months of chatting and talking feels like forever, believe me.
This person, I came to know, all from our long conversations, to our adorable video chats, to our silly goodnight texts...
He's from California USA, and I'm all the way from the Philippines. Our time difference? Sixteen long hours. It was a very difficult relationship to handle. I wake up and he is about to get his goodnight sleep. I'm taking my lunch, and he is barely starting his day. We live in the same planet, but on a different timezone. However, that didn't stop us to converse and connect. Thank you very much technology and Mark Zuckerberg, because of you I met the love of my life. Everyday, I learn a lot of new things about him and what makes him, him. He is a funny and a smart person. He loves video games so much. His music is more of the alternative rock and electronic. He is from a Mexican descend with an asian surname. I on the other hand, is the Asian girl with a Spanish surname. Funny right?
I love rock n roll, I love reading books, and I love cars. It feels as though we didn't have anything in common. But the truth is, our differences made us more interested with one another.
For starters, we would talk about our favorite things; favorite colors, brands, games, movies, music genre, series etc... Often times our tastes are particularly unique from each other, but that only made our world even bigger. I would sometimes show him my dogs and tell him how different they are from one another (I have 5 dogs)... simple conversations that makes us happy.
We have our own Skype movie dates! Yes, we really tried to make it work. Everyday we talk about how our day was, what happened at work, what did we eat today... Small things, small conversations that made us connected even more.
We also wrote love letters for each other and mailed them via snail mail, old school style. Who still does that?? Only LDR people.
Sometimes we would talk about life and the bullshit we deal with everyday. The pressure of growing up and becoming independent, the bills you suddenly need to pay, and the sad reality of this world. I know, we can get too deep too. You see, we never ran out of things to talk about.
I find the relationship very interesting and challenging. You get to know a person slowly, but surely. I get attracted to him in a more intimate level, that is beyond physical and superficial. That reason alone was enough for me to hold on.
Of course, like a normal human being that is in love, I too craved for hugs and kisses. Those sweet warm embrace, eye to eye glances, and holding hands while walking kind of cheesiness. It hurts to see couples walking by and looking so happy, because I want that too. Im so jealous. I wanted to watch a movie with him while we hold hands. I want to have a road trip with him, while we sing loud as fuck to a song we both love. I just want to be with him. Everyday. Everyday.
Sometimes we would cry because we know that we cant be with each other like normal couples do. That 7000 miles away is way to far. Sixteen hours time difference is hella alot. It was sad and depressing.
I would admit, that sometimes I question myself if this was worth it. Why would life/destiny/god/whoever the fuck it is, thought that making me fall in love with someone from the other side of the world is fair. Sometimes I am weak and my heart is frail, I would get discouraged. But thanks to my boyfriend, he would tell me to not give up and would remind me why we are "together" at the first place.
|TFW (that feel when)|
Did I ever get judged because of this relationship? Yes. Many times. I have heard so many bad things from people I know. They would push their opinions on me, as if I care. As if their opinion matters. I get questioned of the authenticity of my relationship. They do not believe that you can fall inlove to someone you see from a computer screen. Idiots. Of course you wouldn't understand. You are not me. You do not know how amazing and funny a guy he is. How much he cares about me. How sincere he is to meet me. I felt like some of them would secretly wish that my relationship would crumble and fall, so they can tell me "i told you so". But before that happens, I removed them from my life. I decided that I dont need those kind of people in my life.
I found strength and understanding from my mom. She never judged me. She never questioned my decisions. She gave me so much love and understanding, and like a true loving mother, she gave me guidance and security since day one. I can make it without my "fake friends" but i wouldn't have made it without my mother's support.
Did we ever fight? Hell yes. Many times indeed. Reasons? Some of them are the following:
- He overslept.
- I overslept.
- We were only able to talk for 10mins because he was running late for work.
- My phone died in the middle of an argument and I am still at work and I cant charge my phone, he thought I was breaking up with him. Haha.
- I wasnt feeling good and I hate the world (pms days haha #girlproblem).
- He forgot which one is my favorite band.
- He said guns n roses is "okay" i went batshit crazy and had to explain why they were bad ass as fuck #fangirl
- I overslept and i wont be able to get in touch with him asap the next day because I slept late and woke up late for work.
- Im always the "right one".
- I win 90% of the time with our arguments.
Just like normal couples, we fought over the silliest things too.
Fast forward, five months of LDR...
We finally took a huge step and a huge milestone in our relationship; we finally met in person!
I should cut the story for now and make a separate post about our first meeting and how we made it possible. Stay tuned!
If you're in a long distance relationship, please dont give up! Have faith!